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Let's just dive right in today, I cannot wait to share three strategies for you to redirect your high achiever gold star loving brain back to your big goals for this year, my friend, it is almost q2, q2. How does that feel? Checking in? How did q1 go? Are you on track for your goals for the year? How are you feeling about entering into the second quarter? And let's just recalibrate a little bit here. Okay, this episode is going to be amazing for you. If you just freaked out a little bit, realizing it's almost you do.

You might be a high achiever, if you did, if you had just that little moment of oh my gosh, did I realize it was almost q2 Oh, I already knew that that's been on my calendar. I've have 56 different alarms on my phone letting me know what my progress is towards my q1 goal. And if I achieved it or not, okay, I'm being a little dramatic. But if you have a Goldstar loving brain, you love getting all the accolades. You love being at the top of the heap, you love being an expert, you love going faster than everybody else, you'd anything but average. If that's you, then you have a brain like mine. Welcome. You are a high achiever. I coach high achievers, I am a high achiever. I know a lot about this. Now, even if you're listening to this, and you don't resonate instantly with that term, I didn't for a long time and I've been coached.

This is gonna be very meta, I've been coached a lot on what it is to actually be a high achiever and the fact that I am a card carrying member of that club. But if you don't instantly resonate with that term, or that label or whatever it is what it is welcome. If you're here, you're listening to this podcast, because you're an entrepreneur to any degree, whether you're just starting out, you haven't quite started out or you've been in business for years and years doesn't matter, you are a high achiever, my friend put on the badge, here you are, here's what I know about you. You are a problem solver. You're an innovator. You are a dream outside the boxer. And that means you have a level of high achieving this about you just like me, takes one to know one. So I get it. And not everyone is wired this way.

It's taken me so many years, okay, it was it's it's a work in progress to realize that other people don't necessarily feel that way. They don't have that desire, they don't have that drive. They don't mind. The status quo. It's not a problem. Not everyone is wired the way that my brain is, and that probably your brain is. So let's just acknowledge the truth of it. Not everyone in our lives or in this world, in general wants to push themselves to see what's possible, but doesn't drive them that doesn't motivate them. There are other things that excite them. And that just isn't one. They don't they don't have it. And I know this because I am the complete weirdo that brings up questions at the dinner table or with new acquaintances, or people that I've even just met in a really awkward way, and asks things like my very favorite question, I feel like I have the most fun with the answers to this question. Would you rather people like you, or be impressed by you? Gonna ask this question again, think about this. Think about if you and I were sitting down at dinner, we were just chatting. Everybody was talking about really boring things. And I was like, listen, I just need to know, do is it important for people to like you? Or is it important for people to be impressed by you? And you?

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And then that moment, you would kind of sit back in your seat? And you would think for a minute? How do I know exactly what you would do? Because I asked this question all the time. And I see the the wheels turn and they're like, Well, this is weird. Okay, let me think about that for a second. Would I rather people like me, or be impressed by me? I get some blank stares. I get some really, really fun, intriguing conversations that come from it depending on who I ask. So I'm, I have authority on this issue. I feel like because I asked this weird question to people ask a lot of weird questions. And I hope at some point you and I do get to sit down to dinner and I do get to ask weird questions and you ask it back to me and we have the most entertaining and thought provoking conversation around why people do the things that they do and why they don't do the things that they don't do. Why did why did they don't do the things that they said they were going to do? That's another interesting question. But anyway, I find that this to be that this is a very interesting conversation starter. Would you rather be liked by people? Is that really important? Is that what drives you need people to like me? I need people to be impressed by me. Because they're two different things. Very, very, very different things. The desire to be impressive to others, if you really think about it is a classic High Achiever dilemma. And I do think about this a lot because I am so just personally interested in what drives us. Why do we do these things that we do and why

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Do we avoid the things that we avoid, and what's really at the root of the issue for me, for you, for my clients, for my children, for our society, we can get really big with it. Or we could just stay drilled in, I think maybe it's safer for this episode, if we stay drilled

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on business, and personal goals, let's do that. Okay, good. Let's, let's not take this out too far, we could be here for days otherwise, but I'm really interested in it. And I see this as a high achiever dilemma, to want to be impressive to others, to want to be seen as the expert, or having a high level advanced mastery of something or just being ahead of the herd. Right. Many of us just innately expect that we're going to be able to do that we're going to get to wherever it is that we want to go there, we're going to call it that we're going to get there. Now there is a moving target. And we never actually get there. And that's another problem. But we think that there's a there, we think we have a goal, or we have a level of expertise, or a level of achievement, that is going to be the crowning jewel there. And when we get there, everything's gonna be better. Now what we do is we get there, we immediately forget that everything was supposed to be great when we got there, and we move the goal line and we have a new there immediately adds another high achiever problem. But let's get back to this one, we innately expect ourselves to get there based on our own knowledge, or the tools that we have. Because that has worked in the past, we want to be at the top. But we also want to have gotten to the top based on our own merits and our own, figure out NIS. And without help. This is a theme that I see a lot. We want to go find all the resources learn like crazy, we want to fail in secret, have nobody see us fail, of course, so that no one knows we aren't actually as impressive as we think we are. Or we want them to think that we are not even for one minute, we spend a lot of time and energy trying to maintain a facade of totally having our shit together, when actually, it's a hot mess behind the scenes. And it's exhausting. High Achiever problems. It's also totally unnecessary. And this is why high achievers like you and me need coaching. We need someone from the outside looking in to show us you're doing it again. Okay, hold on.

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This isn't working. And you don't need to make it so hard on yourself. Let's back up. That's what a coach does. That's what a good coach does. And that's why we need that high achievers need coaching more than anyone. And I know this from coaching so many people in business, I know this from just being a student of humans in the world, and just having a personal interest in it like I do. I've seen this, I've seen that there are people that need coaching on a basic level to get to a basic outcome. And then there's the high achievers and the high achievers have all of the outcomes and have all of the goals and want all of it immediately. And we need coaching to get there my friends, because to our own detriment, we go hard. And we lose the forest for the trees a lot of the time because we're so good at problem solving, and iterating. And doing more doing doing doing we're human doings, not human beings. And that's often like I said to our own detriment, we forget the basics, or we think that they don't apply to us, we think that we're too advanced for that we think we need a new whatever new strategy, new framework, new process, new tool, new insight, new book to read new, whatever, whatever the latest greatest says, we think we need that, and the basics, we're already so far beyond. And we do this to ourselves, because we want to go much faster. We want to go harder than anyone else. We want to outwork everybody else. We don't ever want to slow down to evaluate what's working and what isn't working. Instead, we just try to pour more on top, we want to do a few more reps. We're gonna work a few more hours, we're gonna do it harder. We're gonna get ahead. Because you got to be impressive, right? Really, spoiler, we're just trying to impress ourselves. It's not actually about the rest of the world, we're trying to impress ourselves. But we're usually also trying to solve the wrong problems in pursuit of being impressive to ourselves. It's very circular, which is also very frustrating for a high achiever that wants to just get to there, they just want to get to that goal, like I just want to get there, it's going to be better there, I need to get there. Now I'm looping in circles, once again, trying to impress myself, wherever you go, there you are.

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It's just the way that it is for us high achievers, and I would say for humans in general, but especially for people that are used to getting results that are used to doing it fast to getting the accolades to being impressive to getting the gold stars to scoring high on the test for things coming easily for all of that. We're usually trying to solve the wrong problems, especially in our business. And like I said, I'm going to keep this a little bit business related because that's what you're here for. But this applies to every goal and every pursuit in every area of your life, my friend. Okay. High achievers

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Like I said, move fast, especially mentally, when something isn't working, we quickly accumulate more resources, we learn more, we go find the next thing that we need to, to learn or to master or the certification that we need to take, or we look at people that are there, whatever that there is, we look at what they're doing. And we're like, well, we immediately need to do that there's no context for where are they in their journey compared to where I'm at? Is that appropriate for the stage that I'm at right now? Do they have a lot more going on, that makes sense for them to be doing this thing, and maybe I don't, we don't take any of that into consideration. We're like, I need to do that. Whatever they're doing over there, I need to be doing it immediately. And we accumulate a lot more resources, we accumulate a lot more knowledge, there's so much learning, there's so much learning, because that has worked in the past to get us our gold stars, we know that this is tried and true. Like this works. For me, this is how I did well in school, this is how I did well, in sports. This is how I did well, up to this point, this is how I got all of my gold stars, I need to keep doing the thing that worked. And it does work for a lot of things. It also works really, really, really well for burning out our nervous system.

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Like really well, it works so well to run on cortisol only as a high achiever, so efficient at that. And it also works really well at over making sure like ensuring 100% that we're over committed to obligations for other people in our lives, because we think that we can, and we should just grit our teeth and do it all and say yes, and make it happen and exhaust ourselves. And then our health suffers greatly as a result, which if you're listening to this podcast, is a real conundrum. Because health is probably really important to you. And then your health is suffering a lot. Because of your high achiever furnace, and your goals, and your business and your life. And the what got you here. It's just working harder and out working everybody else. And being very resourceful, and learning all the things and being smart and moving fast and doing all of it that has gotten you here. And it's exhausting. Okay, I'm going to tell you all about my experiences with this in the rest of this episode. But do you notice the whole time I'm talking about this, I'm not saying you, I'm saying we

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I'm also calling myself out for all of this, because I'm right there with you. But I'm also going to offer the solution, which is coaching spoiler, here's the here's the solution coaching. And I'm gonna tell you some stories about this is very real in my life right now. It's something that I'm going through. And I think we always are, we always will be. But I have a really concrete tangible recent example. So in business, and in health and fitness, and everywhere else that I find myself getting really grasp be and pressuring, and attached to the goals that I set, because of my desire to be impressive and go faster and do more. And be at the top of the heap and have insanely high expectations of myself, by the way. Because of all of those same reasons. I have to get coached, and I have to redirect my brain. And so do you. We don't outgrow this, we don't learn this. It's just the way that our brains work. Okay, what got you here isn't gonna get you there, what got me here isn't gonna get me there. And then the worst part about it is we move there. We move it. It's like I provisioning the Candyland board. And we think that there is the beautiful castle at the top. And everything's going to be great when we get through the swamp. And we get through the the Gumdrop holes and the traps and all the things and we finally get to there at the top. And then we turn over the board and there's like a whole new game on the other side. And there's a new there, immediately High Achiever problems, we changed the goal line on ourselves immediately when we get to there. So frustrating. It's also something that I love about us.

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It's also why we get so much done. It's also why we push ourselves. It's also why we achieve things that other people think isn't possible. So there's, you know, double edged sword here, there's, there's things about that, that I love. There's also things about that that aren't so super great for our health and mental well being along the way, right. Now, like I've said, what got you here isn't going to get you there, your capacity for growth. And that means your brain, my friend, it has to change the neurons in your actual gray matter inside of your skull, need to fire and wire in a new pattern for you to become the person that thinks and operates at the new level. Because if you were already at that level, you would already be at that level. If your brain was already thinking and problem solving, and working with those patterns, you would already be there but it isn't. So let's just acknowledge the truth that we are at the level of our brains right now. That's where our life is. So to actually move to a new level of growth and this could be in business this could be in personal relationships. This

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can be as a parent, this can be financially this can be in your health, this can be in your fitness, whatever it is, whatever next level is whatever the the next iteration of the Candyland board is for you, it's going to require actual physical changes in your brain, the the neurons need to fire in a new way, there needs to be new patterns introduced, how do you make those physical changes? How do you actually physically change your brain, you have to think new thoughts and take new actions. And you have to reinforce the new actions with the new thoughts. And you have to reinforce the new thoughts with the new actions. And I'm suggesting that coaching be one of those actions immediately, because it truly is the shortcut to rewiring your brain. Now, if your goals right now are primarily business related, and they very well maybe because you're listening to this podcast, you need a business coach, and you need business coaching tools. May I thoughtfully suggest the profitable nutritionist program, or the streamline and scale mastermind as an excellent next step and where to get the coaching.

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You will get coached hard, and it will be the best investment you've ever made in your business. Because instead of looping on the same, vague, it's not working. And I don't know why puzzle, we all have a variation of that puzzle. It's not working. I don't know why I don't know what to do next puzzle instead of endlessly looping on that, and trying to solve this really vague thing like putting together a puzzle where you don't even know what the puzzle is supposed to look like at the end like someone threw the box away, and you don't know, what,

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what are we even doing? What's this supposed to look like? So frustrating. Instead of doing that over and over again, you're gonna get coached to answer the specifics. This is the difference here, I'm going to give you a very tangible example, when your brain is saying it's not working. And I don't know why. That's a very, very low level thought. I don't know why it's not working. I don't know why. When you're getting coached, and you have quality coaching coming your way, here's what's going to be different. What isn't working? What have you already tried? How well did it work? What are you going to do differently? Give numbers? Let's quantify the metrics here be very specific, what didn't work? And how, how didn't it work? Tell me the numbers. What were the biggest problems you encountered? What's your hypothesis for why it didn't work? How long did you think it was going to take? Why did you think it was gonna take that long?

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If the solution was simple, what would it look like? How will you know when you've solved this problem? What are the metrics that you're going to measure to know that this problem is solved? What are the most important metrics to track to measure progress on this? Do you see the difference? Now, these are just some examples of higher level coaching questions that you might answer in regards to a business goal. But did you notice that all of them also applied to health goals? And they're the exact same questions, you should be asking your clients? I'm gonna go through them again. But I want you to really think about this. If you were asking your clients to answer questions like this, how much more insightful would your coaching be? Instead of letting them say I'm not losing weight? Or it's not working? I'm not feeling any better. Or this is really hard. I don't know how to eat this way, or whatever version of the very, very vague, it's not working. And I don't know why puzzle question is, instead of that, what if you ask questions like this? What isn't working? Be very specific. What have you already tried? How are you tracking it? Now? How well did that work? Give me some numbers. Let's get very specific. Let's quantify the metrics. What were the biggest problems you encountered? What's your hypothesis for why it didn't work? Now, how long did you think it was going to take? Why did you think that? Here's a great question. Like, it's such a basic question, but it's everything. If the solution was simple, what would it look like? Ask your clients this question, if the solution was simple, what would it look like? Now you my high achieving friend, ask yourself the same question when you have problems that feel like they're they're very murky, it feels like it's so big, I don't know what to do. If the solution was simple. What would it look like? Your brain knows the answer, you just have to ask really good questions to get the good answers. How will you know when you've solved this problem? What are the most important metrics to track to measure your progress on this? We just need to ask better questions, right? This is why coaching is so so useful for you and for your clients. Because your clients need the same specificity and to slow down to and when I say specificity, what I mean is getting really dialed in on what are the actual facts here? What are they when someone says it isn't working? Find out what is it? What are you measuring? What are these actual numbers? They need to see the forest is not just the trees as well. And it's your job to coach them on that to that calm realization that this is figure out double? We need the facts. We're going to ask really

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Good questions. And instead of letting our brains be vague, and believe me, our brains love being vague, because it's very comfortable. It doesn't require any work. And it's, it's a very familiar place to be to be looping on the puzzle of it's not working is very familiar territory. Whether you're a high achiever or not, that's just a human condition very, very familiar. What our brains don't love to do is get specific. So we're going to make them get specific, and you're going to make your clients get specific to okay, we love to make these blanket statements like it's not working, or nothing is working, or I should be further along by now, my personal version of this is I'm behind my brain loves that loves that, what does it mean? It's so not useful to think those thoughts? What do they even mean? It's just, it's not useful at all. And I can loop endlessly on those questions I'm sure you can do and I know for sure that your clients can, and we can loop endlessly on the misery of that problem. And then to get ourselves out of the misery of the problem, what do we do, we go do more, we go learn more, we go try to get impressive results somewhere. Because we have this conditioned response that if we just go do things, we'll get accolades, somewhere, we'll get our Gold Star, we're going to nice, just need to go learn more. And it's actually the opposite of what we need to do. In this situation, you need to slow down, ask better questions, so you can speed up and get the results that you actually want. Same with your clients. Now, it's not actually a problem. This is just when your brain is saying it's not working, nothing is working, I should be further along by now. These are not actually problems, I want to just call that up. You hear me say this all the time, it's not actually a problem. It's not a problem. It's not a problem. Borrow that for every, every bit of your life. It's not a problem. It's just a terribly worded statement, that isn't even true. But it's a sentence in your brain that you've thought so many times that it seems true. Okay? Now, through coaching, you're going to be forced to ask better questions of yourself. And you're going to uncover much more useful statements for your brain to rewire into your subconscious beliefs. And that's where your brain actually changes. Remember, we said you have to actually change your brain, you change the neurons, the thought patterns, and you actually change what's physically happening in the gray matter in your skull, which is so fascinating. And that's how you get to the next level of growth. That's how you get to the next level of anything and accomplish the goals, you become the person that asks the questions and answers the questions at that level. Now, to do that, you need some coaching, you need to the this easier, much less painful way to do this, instead of burning out your adrenals. And working yourself to the bone is to rewire your subconscious beliefs by asking better questions and uncovering more useful sentences in your brain. So instead of the vague, you have to get granular, you have to get specific, and you have to do this part that your high achieving very fast moving brain just like mine would way rather skip over. But you have to slow down so you can speed up, your brain is not going to like this. It doesn't like doing the evaluation. It doesn't like answering the tedious questions, getting the facts, getting the metrics going and finding the numbers, measuring things. Instead of saying it's not working. No, your brain just wants to say it's not working. That's familiar territory, but it's not going to get you to the next level. So what you're going to do instead is you're going to get granular, you're not going to be vague, you're going to be very, very specific. Now for me, I'm constantly getting coached on my business goals and my mindset around what I'm working towards in my business, because not only is it my business, but it's also a personal pursuit of mine. Like I'm just so interested in the psychology of business, I love reading business strategy books, and listening to business podcasts. And I love thinking about that very specific way that our brain works. And like why some people are successful, and other people aren't successful and tactics and strategy and mindset, all of it is just personally very interesting to me, I love it. So I'm always taking any of these concepts, and I'm relating them back to business and business goals, which is very helpful for you. Because then I get to take some of these insights, and I presented to you on this podcast and in my programs, and I get to help people to have much better success in their business. So that's fine for you. It might be health, or it might it could be anything, really, but anything that you're really interested in this is going to apply to I know a lot of the students I work with are like no, I just love learning about how our bodies work. I love learning about the new types of testing that we can do and about the old types of testing that work better than the new types of testing and, and all of that. So whatever it is for you doesn't matter. But for me, it's business. I am constantly getting coached on my goals and my mindset around what I'm working towards my business. That's a given. I've talked about a lot on this podcast and everywhere that any webinar or any anything you've ever seen me talk in I've probably shared how coaching changed my business drastically, just a few years ago in 2020. When I invested in a mastermind and I actually had other people help me know as the High Achiever that wants to be impressive and not tell people what's actually going on behind the scenes and what things I think aren't going so great. And what's messy in the background.

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And it was hard for me, it was really hard for me, but having actual, actual humans to help me and coach me, I know it's revolutionary stuff.

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Being a little vulnerable, and letting people see what's not so impressive behind the curtain so they can help clean it up, that is coaching my friend. But oh, how quickly I saw the results of that coaching and of have someone else's brain solve the problems that mine felt like, and was telling me were unsolvable. Because they weren't unsolvable, I was just asking myself terrible questions. That's why coaching is so beautiful. Because we can do this thing where we can look at someone else's thoughts, we can look at someone else's beliefs, we can look at someone else's business, we can look at someone else's health goals, whatever it is, and so clearly see how it can be simplified. Even if we can't see that for ourselves. That's another reason why coaching is so imperative, especially for high achievers. This year, even though I'm normally normally focused on business goals and thinking about things in terms of business goals, because like I said, that's just personally so interesting to me. I have health goals. Now, I've had health goals for a long time, but I'm really drilling into my health goals.

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And so once again, I'm confronted with my high achiever, Enos, but through a little bit different lens, which is fascinating, because I will tell you right now, I am an ideal, easiest client, for most of you that will be listening to this episode. Okay. I think it's going to be valuable for you to hear me talk through what's going on in my brain as I'm working towards these health goals, because I am a very motivated client that really wants to make changes and has a lot of resources available timewise, monetarily motivationally, whatever, all of the ways to change things for my health. And I'm watching what's happening in my brain as I do this. And it's fascinating. So, for this year, I'm turning 40 actually turning 40 in a couple days, as I'm recording this episode, getting ready to go on a trip, I'm going to tell you all about that in a couple of weeks. And if this deadline of 40 has been weighing on me, I'm not one of those that's like it's just a number, and it doesn't matter. It's it's mattering.

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Just be honest, I'm not loving it, in some ways, I'm not loving it. And that's a story that I'm working on changing as well. But then, you know, just full, full transparency, this whole 40 thing has kind of it's it's been there, it's been on the horizon. I've been thinking a lot about it. And so I've been thinking about my body, I've been thinking about my health, I've been thinking about ageing and things that are starting to get a little more sore and a little more creaky. And how I don't, I don't really want things to keep going in that direction. So I decided this year, I'm buckling down on my health and my fitness, I want to get really strong, I want to lift a lot of weights. And I want to repair some of my high achiever damage to my adrenals and my nervous system. And I want to take the pressure off of myself, and I really want to take care of myself. So I have some strategies that I have developed for this. I didn't develop all of them myself, because I got coaching. I know it's so meta. So I hired a personal trainer to work with three times a week. And that has been amazing. Okay, so I just want to say first of all, that's been amazing. Do I have a very full gym at my house that I could work out at? Yes, yes, I do. Until now, actually, I've worked with a trainer in the past before many years ago. But recently, like in any recent history, what I have done is I have said, You really need to lift weights, you need to find a program, you need to do the like the videos with the things and the things. Okay, do I have all of the tools? Yes. Do I have the time to do this? Yes, I can create the time do I have the desire to make the change? Yes, I absolutely do. Is there any part of me that ever in the last three to five years that I've had the same goal that has prioritized consistently finding those workouts, figuring out the program for my exact goals, executing them? Doing it putting in the time the research all of that to make it happen? No.

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No? No, I have not even though I would tell you for if you ask me anytime in the last five years what my goals were I would say it would be to get fit it would be to be in much better shape. Lose the last 10 pounds tone up I could have like all of these things. I could tell you were my goals. But was I actually doing what I told myself I was going to do to reach those goals. No, I was not. So this year. I'm like, No, this is different. I'm going to just know thyself and know that I need a coach that's going to help me on this. I'm not going to go although I could I'm very capable and resourceful and I could learn more about lifting weights and body composition and exactly what I want to be doing with my fitness and with my adrenals my poor sad, very taxed adrenals all of it. I couldn't figure it out.

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I even know quite a bit about this is I mean, is it any surprise to any of us that I used to work with clients specifically on adrenal fatigue? And here I am over here and adrenal fatigue? No, that's not a surprise to any of us, we know that that's how it goes. So I have the tools, I have the resources, I could figure it out, of course I could. But I'm going to be a product of my product and just get coaching on this said, No, I'm gonna hire a coach, I'm gonna have a personal trainer and somebody to help me do this. So I don't need to think about it. And this is where I feel like I'm really an ideal client. But I had to get to this realization and had I had someone, actually, that's not true, I did have someone that told me this straight up, you just need to hire someone to do this. So that you don't have to think about it. You don't need to go research, you don't need to go learn any of it. You just need to show up, you need to do the things and you need to do the homework, they give you an you just need to be done with it. Perfect. That's what I needed to hear. And I am a great client, and I am very resourceful. So I found that person three times a week, here we go. It has been just amazing. Absolutely amazing. I didn't realize how out of shape I was.

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Until we started working out three times a week. My trainer Ryan is fantastic. He's He's like the perfect blend of drill sergeant, and coach, it's perfect for my personality. It's great. So I have been working with him on that side. And then I also hired a nutritionist to work with. Why would a nutritionist hire a nutritionist because we need coaching my

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this for the same reason that the business coach hires a business coach, we can't see our own thought patterns as thought patterns, because we're so in it. That's what this entire episode is about. So hopefully, you're getting the gist here. But I hired two coaches to get me to these goals, really, really want help on supporting my nervous system and recalibrating my hormones and hitting 40 feeling strong and feeling capable and not feeling burned out and tired. Which is definitely a cycle that I can get into I have a lot of evidence for that in my life. I achiever problems, and I want to get strong, I want to be really strong, I want to feel very fit, I want to feel very flexible. I want to have better posture. These are all goals. Basically, here's the deal, I'm turning 40. And I'm going to do a pull up this year, it's happening, this is what's happening. And I instantly, when I started working out with my trainer in early February, I instantly found myself getting super pressured. And actually and then I had started working with my nutrition coach in January, same thing, I got very, very pressured. As soon as I committed to making, these are my goals, this is what I'm gonna do. I got very insane with myself about it, I could see it happening. And it was fascinating because this was actually starting during the 3k in 30 Days Challenge inside the profitable nutritionist program for my clients, which we ran for the month of January. And the entire theme of this challenge is to set a monetary goal, make it in 30 days now our brains completely freak out when we have a very specific goal. Remember, they don't like specify specificity that was a tough one for me just now. Our brains don't like specify

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specificity. They want to be vague. So setting, the actual monetary goal here is the how much money I'm gonna make and putting a timeline on it, which is for the month of January, really brings up a lot of thoughts in our brain and a lot of mindset to coach on. So that's what we do in this challenge. So during the challenge as my clients are working on their monetary goals in that specific amount of time, I start working on these health goals, especially with my hormones and with recalibrating my nervous system and all of that, and I got so pressured and attached. And I talk a lot about this in the challenge, which is the difference between goal commitment and goal attachment. When you're committed to the goal, you are calm, you're confident when you are attached to the goal, you are pressuring, you are grasping, you are desperate and you're making the goal achievement means something about you personally, I'm going to tell you I'm very I am I still

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am working on it, I was much more attached, I'm getting there to detaching from this goal. But I was very attached to the goal of fixing my health as quickly as possible, like checking all of the boxes in January, that very, very pressured. And I could see as I was watching this happen in my brain. And then I was coaching my clients on how it was happening in their brain with their financial goals and their business goals. Because it's all the same exactly what we're doing in our businesses, the same thing that our clients are doing in their health. Our brains work exactly the same way in pursuit of any goal that we have our clients have. I realized that these goals are like knives. Okay, a knife is a very useful tool. And a goal is a very useful tool as a as a Northstar to keep us focused on where we're going. And to make sure that we don't go off course we have this goal, which is where we're heading towards. It's the destination on the map. That's where we're going. We might take detours a little bit, but hopefully we get back on the freeway and we are heading towards the goal. That's when you're using it as a tool just like a knife.

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It's a very useful tool, we can do lots of things with knives. We also can use knives to hurt ourselves.

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The knife can be a weapon, and goals can also be a weapon. High Achiever problems is when you use your goal as a weapon against yourself, you're making it mean something about you, as a human on this planet, and your worth and your contribution, and your impressiveness, all of that, instead of as a Northstar that you're working towards. So I was watching this happen in my brain health wise, and I was watching it happen in my clients brain business wise. And I just want to offer that as the journey I've been on and I'm sure you are too in some way. Is your goal, a knife as a tool? Or that you're using to help yourself to build something to whittle sticks and build a shelter and keep you alive? Or are you using it as a weapon against yourself to hurt yourself? Check in there. So

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I am now having to build in a lot of rest per both of these coaches that do not know each other, then I'm working with my nutrition coach and my personal trainer coach

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are suggesting I build in rest and holding myself accountable to taking the pressure off of the goals. Like I said, As soon as the goals were laid out, I got really, really pressured. So I had to bring in some external accountability to help keep me in check with us. With both of those coaches, with my husband. Now on this podcast 1000s of people listen to this so that you can all keep me accountable. And maybe that isn't necessarily for you. But I've I've found that having these conversations with people in my life and letting them know I'm getting psycho about the school. I just need to take the pressure off, I need you to help me do that. When you see me going off the path here. I need you to bring me back to the freeway where we're going towards the goal and not be trying to find the shortcut, rabbit hole off to the side like we do. Okay, I do the exact same thing. So, Ryan, my personal trainer, a few maybe it was like a month in he said, Okay, I want you to set three goals. Now these can be fitness goals. These can be personal goals. I don't care what they are, but I need you to send me your three goals. It was so basic. Okay, this is this is not a ninja. Anything. This was very basic send me your three goals. It was so revealing. Because it was like when he said this to me. It was like I was having two conversations. I was talking to him about it. And I was also having an entire dialogue in my brain. As I was asking him questions, I could see I could see exactly what was happening. I was watching it like I was sitting on a couch eating popcorn just watching my mind. It was fascinating. Because I you know, I asked for clarification on the school this will what kind of goals like what kind of fitness goals do you think we should have? He said, well, like for example, we could do this in this strength goal as far as like the amount that I was dead lifting and squatting. So we you know, that would be a good goal for you. I said, Okay, so how long do you think this is me asking him? I said, Okay, that sounds great. That'd be one of the golf. Or how long do you think it will take me to?

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So embarrassed even tell you this, but I know that you're going to find insights here for you and for your clients, as well. How long do you think that's going to take? Now? How many times do your clients ask you this? How long is this going to take? How long does this usually take? How long do you think this is going to take? I know people ask me this all the time when I join your program? How long? Is it going to take me to make my money back? How long? Is it going to take me to make six figures a year? How long? Is it going to take me to have a full client load? People ask me the same questions because our brains are the same. So I was doing the exact same thing to him. I'm asking him, how long do you think is going to take me to hit those numbers on my squat and deadlift? He's like, Well, I mean, based on where you're at right now, I think realistically, six months like for sure you'll be there. And as he said that to me, I instantly was like okay, so gotta do it in three. If, if he thinks I can do it in six, I have to for sure. Do it in three. So what I mean, I was I was watching my brain do this. I was thinking okay, so I'm going to do maybe one extra workout a week, maybe I'm going to lift a little more when I'm not here. He won't know that. But that's okay. I can work ahead. I can do extra. I can if you know, we'll all have the thoughts. I was like carry the one digit digit digit, calculate over your fascinating, absolutely fascinating. Because this is what we do. We try to go faster, we want to be more impressive. We want the shortcut if if average is six months, and I for sure have to do it in three, and I couldn't see myself doing this. But my other goal spoiler My other goal was to take the pressure off of myself and to just enjoy the journey and so on. On the one hand, I'm saying can you please help me to not take things so seriously, to give myself more time, and to just enjoy the ride. And also mentally I'm like, but I'm going to be really impressive over here. I'm going to be the star student I'm going to be the best you've ever seen. And I'm going to do it in half the time that you think

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I'm calling you out if you have the same thoughts if you have these same tendencies and just know that your clients might too, because I wasn't saying this out loud. I mean

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I was actually just thinking this internally. But now this is driving my entire motivation. So how is this showing up for your clients? Just think about it. Think about your easiest best client, your high achiever one on one who says things to themselves lies by the way, which I say and you might say, like I work best under pressure. I do things faster than most people do. I can multitask. I don't really say that. But I know a lot of people do versions of that the I work best under pressure. And this doesn't apply to me, I can go faster.

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Oh, my goodness, our brains? Do you see it? Do you see it for yourself? Do you see it for your clients, so revealing, I could see exactly what I was doing to myself. Yet. My actual goal here and I'm going to be totally honest, is to take the pressure off of myself in some areas, and not take things so seriously and not be so attached to goals, because I can definitely find myself slipping into that sometimes, too. So I sent him my goals the next day. And the biggest one, and I said I'm going to really need your help with this is to rest more, and to not get pressured about any of the goals. So my goal is to not be pressured about the goals, which was a great insight. Like I said, he just asked me this what this got sent me your three goals very basic. But I had to go back to the basics. And I had to be honest with myself and really think about it coach myself, I got coached by him, I got coached by my nutritionist, I got a lot of coaching for my husband on.

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Like, what are you doing? The only thing you wanted to do was show up three times a week not have to think about it, have somebody tell you what to do. And then leave like that's what you wanted to do. That's what you paid for us that that's absolutely what it paid for. And this is my husband he's like, then why are you trying to make this harder than it needs to be on yourself? The true answer is because that's that's the pattern in my brain. That's the pattern. That's what is high achievers do. We don't have to keep doing it though, there are strategies, coaching is available to help us see that what got us here, isn't going to get us there on our Candyland board. Okay, so I'm just so interesting. I'm watching this happen in my life, in real time as a health and wellness client. So I had to bring it up for you, I just had to tell you tell you about this, take what you can from that for your clients as well. I am building in some external accountability to help keep me in check with these goals. And for taking the pressure off myself, which is not my go to strategy, I'm going to be very honest, I don't tend to think that I need external accountability, and very accountable to myself, I'm very motivated internally, I don't need someone else holding me accountable. So that's not a go to strategy that I think of. But in this instance, it's very, very helpful. Think outside the box, do things differently. I got coached on this, to just have the accountability, to be honest about my goals to take the pressure off and to have people remind me of that. So in this instance, the accountability is being very transparent about the fact that my like, it was kind of a hard email to send to my trainer to say, here's one of my goals. And please help me to, to not take this seriously and not be so goal oriented. It's very strange email to send. But anyway, the accountability around that is I'm finding to be very, very useful, even though that is not a strategy I have ever employed before in my life in the history of ever. But it's working right now, here are three other strategies that are helping me with this right now. First of all, increasing the time horizon, just making the timeline longer, High Achiever problems, is trying to do it better and faster than everybody else. Because we want to get to the castle on the Candyland board at the top where all of the princesses and all the candy is. It's very ironic considering have dug into nutritionists. That's where we want to go. So we want to do it as quickly as possible. We want to do it faster than everybody else, we want to win the fastest. But I'm finding it very useful to intentionally increase the time horizon. So I went back to the goal, where I wanted to do it in three months. He said, probably it's done in six. And I was like, Okay, how about 12? Let's do it in 12. And I increased the time horizon, which immediately took the pressure off. Can you do that for your goals? Can you help your clients do that for their goals? It's tricky. Because we do want our clients to get results quickly. We do want them to blow their own minds quickly. But sometimes, trying to do it quickly, or setting the expectation with them that it can be quick, depending on if they have the same thought patterns or not. And they very well may, it's actually going to do the opposite, because it's going to make them hustling and grasping and desperate and pressure free. And they're going to grind grind grind to try to be the star student and to do it even faster than fast. And that's not going to help them and you know that and I know that and I'm a living breathing example of it and you might be to that that actually doesn't help our health goals. So increasing the time horizon making it

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take longer telling myself this is gonna take twice as long, it's totally fine. In reality, it'll probably go way faster because I now have taken off that pressure for myself, borrow that for yourself, borrow that for your clients if needed. Another thing I'm working on, is reframing my goals to, it's possible that it's possible that I do a pull up this year, it's possible that I do 20 Pull Ups a day, this year, we're just gonna see taking the pressure off making it's possible. Instead of I have to do this, it means something about me, it's the next thing on the list, I need the accolades, I need to feel impressive to myself, because really, that's what's going on here. When we think that we're wanting to be impressive to others, we're actually wanting to be impressive to ourselves. So maddening.

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This journey of the human experience, right. And then the third strategy is detaching from the how. And when I say detaching from the house, the house was in air quotes, the how is how you think you're going to get to the goal. Now for me, I have some ideas about how I think I'm going to get really fit, do a pull ups this year, and also really support my hormone balance my adrenals My stress levels, and my life in general, how I have some ideas on how, okay, but I'm detaching from that. I'm like, these are my best worst ideas. Here is the hypothesis. However, I might not know the exact how there might be way different things that I don't even know about that haven't come up yet that are not available to me at this current state of my problem solving in my brain right now, that are going to become available later. And I can just detach from the how there's not a right plan or a wrong plan. Okay, there's not wasting time. There's just experimenting, this is very helpful for me detaching from the how being open to other possibilities. And I see this with my clients being particularly helpful to keep reminding them through coaching. Coaching is the key here, through coaching. With my clients, especially in the mastermind, where people are making more money, they're moving faster, there's a lot of moving parts, and they're iterating. Quickly, I find this would be very, very important to keep questioning, if we're attached to the house. And keep going back to some basic questions like what what if this was simple? How could it look, then?

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How did we decide on this plan in the first place? Is it time to evaluate and iterate, that's really important because especially with our High Achiever brains, we get very attached to this was the plan. And I need to do the plan. And I need to see every aspect of the plan to completion. And that's just what I needed to do. And it becomes very laser. If you could see my hand motions, as I'm recording this, I'm, I have the blinders on. And I'm looking straight ahead. And I'm making very vigorous hand motions of making laser focus decisions and plans and never deviating from them. But a coach is going to show you that sometimes you need to deviate, a coach is going to show you that sometimes the plan isn't working and there might be a better plan, coach is going to show you that you're not wasting time when you try some new things. And you detach from the how and you open yourself up to different house. It's called experimenting, it's called Getting data. Okay, this is what we do. This is why coaching is so important. So my three strategies increase the time horizon, remind myself it's possible that starting the sentences in my brain with it's possible that instead of being attached, and then detaching from the how the plan the how it's going to work being open to possibilities, again, two and three are kind of fluid together, it's possible that it's possible that the plan I have now is going to work, it's also possible that I'm gonna have a new plan that's going to work better. Alright, how would you coach your clients on this? Truly, how would you coach your clients on this, when they're when they're high achieving, and they're getting stuck? Because they're really attached to the plan? They're really attached to how it's going to work. They're really attached to a very short timeline, they're really attached to whatever that is, how would you coach your clients on it? And are you giving yourself the grace that you give them? Is, my guess is in the coaching of your clients, you're going to remind them that these goals are arbitrary that these goals are tools meant to help them not weapons to hurt them? Are you giving yourself the same coaching? Are you giving yourself that same grace? Probably not. And that's why you need coaching just like they do my friend, very meta, high achievers like us want the gold star we want the recognition. We want to know that our results are impressive, believe me, I get it. But we get so hyper focused on those goals, that we lose the forest for the trees. So to our clients, we forget about our human brains that need to be redirected to the basics, the foundations, the basics, the foundations come back to the basics to the foundations. We forget. We forget that because we're so used to working at a high level problem solving at a high level learning new things learning then more advanced steps. And that's very comfortable territory. We forget that going back to the specific details. The granular details are really important. The foundations the basics, stop trying to race ahead

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get to the finish line where we think it's going to be the most impressive. And instead, we actually dig in. And we figure out how to maximize the journey, and be impressed with ourselves every step of the way, this is my work this year, this is probably my work for the rest of my life. But I'll be very open and honest with you about how this goes from a health perspective. This year, it's kind of it's kind of fun to have a new,

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a new focus, and to be able to see myself as the guinea pig just like your clients. So in the profitable nutritionist program, I want to just land this plane here by talking about exactly what coaching looks like, I don't want you to be confused about what is coaching, what do you get coached on? How does that actually work? There's multiple ways you can get coached in the profitable nutritionist program, we coach in a group every single week. So you can raise your hand to get coaching, you get brought on the screen, you're gonna get coached on anything that is keeping you stuck. And it's probably the most valuable coaching, I will say this time and time and time again, is the thing that you think isn't a thing. It's like, oh, well, I should just be able to solve this, I'm not going to get coached on it, because I should just be able to figure this out myself. Whatever that is, that's what you come and get coached on. Okay, you're gonna get, obviously very high level business coaching. But you're also gonna get support from your colleagues, with coaching on the chat on a group call. And also in the lounge, which is our private community 24/7. In between calls, there's a lot of opportunity for coaching. I teach you in the program, how to ask good coaching questions, so that you can ask them of your clients. And so you can ask them of each other. It's very, very meta.

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Our brains are not that creative. So the things that are going to work for your clients are going to work for you too, and you help each other. You also have hundreds of hours of live coaching, call replays at your fingertips when you join the program. So you can listen to those in the private member podcast, we have all of the audio of past coaching calls. In podcast form. It's called the private member podcast, you get a unique URL to add that feed to your podcast app that you're already listening to podcasts in as soon as you join the program. So you can just listen to coaching call replays in the podcast, when you're in the car, when you're working out when you're cooking dinner, wherever it is you listen to podcasts, you can always have that coaching in your ear. So you can hear other people getting coached on the problems that you didn't even know you had. Magical, this thing that happens where you you don't know what you don't know. And then you hear someone else get coached on it and realize, Oh my gosh, that's exactly what I need it. Okay, you also have all of those coaching, call replays in video form if you prefer to watch them the video form and those are in the member portal. But like I said, the same questions that your high achieving colleagues are asking on coaching calls and that they're getting coached on are going to apply to you. That's why group coaching is the best because sometimes you don't know what you don't know. And then hearing someone else ask the question unlocks a massive breakthrough in your brain. Okay, you need coaching. Enrollment in the profitable nutritionists program opens up on May 18. And you can find out all the details of the program. If you're not already in there at Build a Profitable practice.com/join. All of the details are on there. If you are listening to this episode in the future, after the May 10 enrollment has already passed, you will always be able to find the next quarterly enrollment date on that page. Now in the mastermind, we have a much smaller, more intimate group and the coaching is even more specific and more nuanced. So if your business has made over 50k, and you have the goal of scaling to six, or multiple, six figures in the next 12 months, you're a high achiever for sure, by the way, put on your badge, and you need to put yourself in the mastermind room so that you can get the coaching you need. As you grow. I can attribute being part of a mastermind and high level coaching that goes along with it as the number one reason my business is now at seven figures a year and growing very quickly, when just a few years ago, it was barely six figures. Coaching is the reason being in a mastermind is the reason there are a few spots left for the April group. So if you are coming into the April group, if you're ready, you need to apply now, n o w capital letters now so that you can get all your ducks in a row and be prepared to start on April 11. You are going to as part of the mastermind have coaching directly from me and lots of it, and other expert coaches that I'm bringing in throughout the six months of the mastermind so that you can move through your exact blocks, High Achiever pressure eight blocks that you have, quickly. Coaching is an active sport, I really want to emphasize this. We move through obstacles and we problem solve actively together through coaching in the mastermind in a way that your current brain does not have the capacity to do because if it did, you would have already solved these problems and you would have already done it. That's why coaching is so valuable. But we do this actively. We don't have vague, it's not working. I don't know what to do next. We don't have that we get we get in there. Okay, we're going to look at your numbers. We're going to look at your metrics, and we're gonna do it together in a way that you've never done it before. That's going to make things so much easier and simpler and faster for you. That's why the mastermind is so coaching centric and it's such a small intimate

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group because we really, really get in there and you have a lot of access to high level coaching with me and other coaches, your brain in the mastermind is going to be both challenged and soothed. Simultaneously constantly.

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And as a result, you're gonna make massive shifts in your business, it's the best. Okay, all the details on the mastermind including the link to apply. If you're getting this before the deadline to apply are at Build a Profitable practice.com/mastermind. Now again, you need to apply now as this episode is coming out, like right now you need to apply because we're going to be shutting the doors and getting everybody going in the April round in early April. So you need to apply now if the if you're listening to this episode and the application deadline has already passed, you can get the dates for the next application and add yourself to the waitlist at that same URL, which is build a profitable practice.com/mastermind.

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Okay, my high achieving podcast friend, get coached and have a wonderful, wonderful week. Bye